This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
