This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
