no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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