You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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