everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
