Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We're too hungover to prance.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
