Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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