She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
