Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
