Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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