Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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