Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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