I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
