Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
