Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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