porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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