i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
