Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
