Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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