"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
