So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
