Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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