you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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