just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
