you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do herpes really smell.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
