i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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