so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a beard to bite.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
