I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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