i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
