Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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