It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
vagina is talking i cant
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
