Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
