Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't deserve a penis
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
