I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
