I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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