so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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