It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
