YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
