I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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