I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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