Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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