Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
