He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
40s are totally the cure
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
