did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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