fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm bleeding and have questions
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
