I got chris browned last night
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
