I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
