I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
