So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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