Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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