You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
